THAT IS ALL. HAVE A GOOD DAY! LOL. I KNOW I AM!

and please... don't forget to comment.
i like feedback. it helps the creative flow... so assist people! lol.

Well, Today I had one of those Epiphany kind of moments, and It was inspired by one of the things that I hate the most.

TV Melodramas.

I was sitting here, watching possibly the saddest episode of One Tree Hill that I have ever seen in my life. there was a quote there, that seemed almost out of place, if not placed there by an English Teacher. It was from Les Miserables. It said... "Those who do not weep, do not see."

This quote made me think about my life a little bit as Im wiping the tears and other viscous fluids from my face.

Love.

Yes, the one topic I truly dread writing about.

I tried, many times in these past seven years since the world's loss of Sarah to fall again. Why do I keep failing? I keep thinking it has something to do with me. Im defective... IM broken... im cold, I am just a frigid bitch...

But today made me realize something.

I was trying to work TOO hard at a relationship. I epically failed by pushing each and every one of those people away from me. Chris, Chelsey, Clint... William.It breaks my heart as I suddenly realize how wonderfully beautiful and truly amazing each and every one of these guys are. I would have loved to be with each and every single one of them for the rest of my life. I tried too hard to find a way to push ourselves as the best couple ever, because we would have been . I could have had a content fairy tale ending with each and every one of these guys... and It ended up making me invert, swallow myself whole like a bitter pill. They called me a frigid bitch, and I would believe them. I couldn't be as perfect to them as I thought they were perfect to me. So, to hide my pain from the world, I would run to the world of the fictitious characters... then i would think that time would deal with it. It hasn't, and it never will.

It is only because of HIM that im now realizing this.

Recently, My mother got into a car wreck.

She hit a piece of ice on the highway, and slid into a van. She fractured her vertebra... and is now in a Spinal Collar for 2 months. I scattered, My soul trying to reach out to both her, and My Auntie Angel who was hurt in the accident as well... Her brain is still swollen and she's having trouble with her memory. I tried, the strain was beginning to show. I spent three days in a hospital with nine bucks... and my best friends bringing me food. I slept in the waiting room. I tried to help my mother as best as I could. I still feel that I didn't do enough. Maybe if I had prayed or something... Never mind. Then suddenly...

I see a Note posted on Face Book from a familiar face. He had put on his face book that he was hoping I would be okay... and that he wishes he could do something. I blinked, and read this twice. My home page was littered with "I hope your mom is OK... Is everything OK with your aunt?"

He thought of me first, knowing how scattered my pieces were.

There it was. the first thump of something I thought I had long forgotten about. My frigid heart beat once, cracking upon the surface, and the pieces of me tried to pick themselves back up. We have only talked through face book a couple of times, but every time I see his name on my page, I get excited.

ME! Excited about something, SERIOUS! ... OH man it has been too damn long since that has happened.

Now, as I stare at his beautiful green eyes do I realize... I was trying so hard to be content. I was so happy with the idea of content. Now I realize... I want to be happy. I want to have a bazillion babies, with two parents that love them silly. I want a happiness they only describe in the most verbose of romance novels. I want the happy that makes my stomach a little fluttery, and makes me blush every time i think of him...

Kinda the way it is right now.

Will this be more? I most definitely hope so, in time. I don't want to scare the poor guy away, after all... I only met him two weeks ago.

I feel like I have known him all of my life though... Which one counts? the feeling? or the actuality?

So, I'll keep my happy schoolgirl giggles and blushes to myself, Maybe share them with My Mrs. Tina. I don't know... it seems like the whole of the world seems to be getting better. Current Family injuries aside, I think life is going better.

It's all because of HIM.

Thank you. So much. I can't even fathom what this experience would have been like without you...

Thanks, T.P. You're definitely the kite string to my crazy fluttering kite. lol.

Maybe I can finally stop hating love so much... hmmm...


My Twin:
Christopher:
My Light and Heaven and Kitten:
My Muse:
My best friends:
Katie:
The one whom I hope to be like someday:
My brother, Chris:
My Inspirations:
My Beta and newest Buddy!
Isaac:
My darling Brit...*wink* :
My Starkid Buddy!
Clubs I have Joined:

To All of you who read my stuff on a regular basis All this is yours... cuz ur all awesome!
I couldn't do it without YOU!!!!*XOXOXOXO*

OK... whew... my mother is now home... and she's in a C Collar for the next six weeks.

Im stressing out still, but I am very glad that she is doing well enough to be home. I can't do anything but help and watch as everyday she struggles to get better. But at least she is struggling.

On another note, I have made friends with an amazing guy. His name is Taylor, and he's really a great guy. Granted, he lives across oceans from me, but... It doesn't matter. He's awesome!

I think there might be possibilities.



My Twin:
Christopher:
My Light and Heaven and Kitten:
My Muse:
My best friends:
Katie:
The one whom I hope to be like someday:
My brother, Chris:
My Inspirations:
My Beta and newest Buddy!
Isaac:
My darling Brit...*wink* :
My Starkid Buddy!
Clubs I have Joined:

To All of you who read my stuff on a regular basis All this is yours... cuz ur all awesome!
I couldn't do it without YOU!!!!*XOXOXOXO*

I was sitting here, Chitty chatting with my newest bestie, Tina. when i hear the phone ring. It was my grandma, whom i call meemaw. the conversation went thusly:

M: Oh, Hey sweetie. I hope i didn't wake you...

BB: No, I was just sitting here. My nose is all stuffy, but Im alright. Whats the matter?

M: Well, I just got off the phone With your mother. She and your aunt hit a patch of ice on the road, and they were just in a car wreck.

BB: OMG is she ok? Is everyone alright?

M: (Silence, then...) Im not sure. they say that the jaws of life are necessary to
get them both out.

BB: I'll be there as soon as I can.

And there is where it started, on Sunday.

For two days, i slept, ate and lived in a hospital. My mother had fractured her C2 Vertabre in her neck and had to be transported to a bigger hospital with better staff to handle her neck injury. it didn't slip, thank goodness.... but... She is still in a lot of pain.

so, plz, just give some DA Love to me, cuz im very stressed out right now.

My Twin:
Christopher:
My Light and Heaven and Kitten:
My Muse:
My best friends:
Katie:
The one whom I hope to be like someday:
My brother, Chris:
My Inspirations:
My Beta and newest Buddy!
Isaac:
My darling Brit...*wink* :
My Starkid Buddy!
Clubs I have Joined:

To All of you who read my stuff on a regular basis All this is yours... cuz ur all awesome!
I couldn't do it without YOU!!!!*XOXOXOXO*

that is all... have a good day.

Look for a one shot called Taming Dragons.